cause you're the straw to my berry
by healthydrugs
Summary: the boyfriend tag that no one wanted. i apologize in advance.


Ichigo scowled as he tried to keep his camera upright on top of a jumbled tower of medical textbooks. After a while of prodding, poking, and praying that the camera doesn't fall flat on its face (hey man, tripods these days don't come in cheap), he pressed the record button. When it successfully captured him and showed up on his computer, he sat back and smiled.

0:01

Grimmjow nuzzled his face along Ichigo's accentuated, tender neck in an affectionate manner.

"Grimm…"

The orange haired college student was currently sitting in Grimmjow's lap with the blue haired man's strong corded arms wrapped tightly around his narrow waist. He was doing everything from leaving butterfly kisses down his neck to burying his face in Ichigo's hair and sniffing. Christ, by now you'd think he was part of some K9 unit.

He called out his name once again but Grimmjow was too caught up in savoring his lover's very pleasant and sweet smell.

Ichigo huffed, a bit impatient and annoyed. Don't get him wrong, he loved his boyfriend's cute little antics but right now he was a man on a mission. A very important mission. A mission he was unfortunately gonna have to face sooner or later.

The ever so scowling man lightly jabbed his elbow into Grimmjow's sternum to get his annoyance across.

Grimmjow lifted his head up from Ichigo's neck with a pout (that made Ichigo inwardly squeal) and changed his feature into a glare once he knew what he was involuntarily doing.

"I was busy, ya know?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "This is our ninth take, Grimm. The faster we get this done, the better. Now quit acting like a cute son of a bitch, and get your shit together." He said while gesturing towards the set up of his canon video camera.

 _This is gonna be such a pain in the ass to edit later. The things I fucking do for my subscribers…_ he sighed. _Hopefully, they'll stop requesting shit like this after today._

Grimmjow was wildly smirking at him now, showing off his sharp white teeth.

"What'd ya just call me?"

Ichigo crossed his arms and a thin orange eyebrow lifted. He knew a challenge if he ever saw one. He smirked back at his boyfriend with fire burning in his eyes. His next words would surely stab at his boyfriend's pride.

"Grimmjow, the most _adorable_ , _fluffiest_ , _prettiest_ , and downright the most _cutest-_

Ichigo's smirk was wiped right off when Grimmjow stood up, threw Ichigo over his shoulder and ran for the bedroom.

"I'll show ya cute, berry," the now feral and horny man rumbled.

"Grimmjow!Put me down! The camera's still recording!"

Ichigo's yells were muffled with a dozen of rough kisses and he slowly began to stop giving a shit.

6:15

The couple appeared on camera once again and reverted back to their original positions like nothing had happened, but their labored breathing and red tinted faces gave _many_ clues away that would eventually lead fans to smirk evilly or burst out in a nosebleed behind their electronic devices.

At least one of them had the decency to hope that the camera didn't pick up the bed slamming against the wall or the moans being projected from another room.

Ichigo's hair was sweat slicked, his lips were red and swollen, and there were pink and purple marks all over his tanned and sweaty neck along with the tip of his collar bone poking out from his navy blue baseball tee.

Blue hair was messier than usual and baby blue eyes were much more hazier. His black metallica shirt that had accents of bright neon orange flames was very crumpled and he too adorned as much if not more love marks than Ichigo.

It would be eight hours later that hundreds of fangirls (and boys) would experience severe hemorrhages and strokes that would lead hospitals into a catastrophic frenzy.

Ichigo sat up straighter and cleared his throat, hoping that the pink pigment on his cheeks went away already.

"Yo! It's _Zangetsu15_ here today, better known as Ichigo. For today's video, we decided to do the heavily requested b- boyfriend tag." He put on a smile for five million of his subscribers but it looked more like he was trying to swallow down a can of worms.

 _"This was the worst idea known to man…"_ the stressed college student thought. Ichigo had often posted videos of him traveling, hanging out with his friends, and even included his whack of a dad in some pranking videos, but nothing ever this personal.

When he was in high school, he did some photography and video production here in there, and decided to do Youtube for fun. He didn't really expect to blow up as much as he did. Not like he was complaining though, Youtube came naturally to him and it helped pay some of his ridiculous college fees.

It only ever started one morning when Ichigo had decided to vlog since he hadn't uploaded anything on his channel for a few weeks due to his exams. The night before was Nnoitra's birthday, and if anyone knew Nnoitra, then they'd know that his parties were absolutely _wild_.

Ichigo thought it would be funny to document his shitty hangover for the camera and the shitty hotel room with jizz stains on the wall. Little did he know that a tuft of blue hair and a naked muscular body that was half covered with a white sheet would show in the background. It also didn't help that Grimmjow was _always_ in his snapchat story and other forms of social media so the time when he would have to introduce his boyfriend to his beloved fans would have come eventually, he supposed.

Ichigo loved his subscribers to death, but thousands of comments and dm's inquiring about the blue haired man and when he was going to do a boyfriend tag was making him want to relocate into another country and change his fucking identity. He never knew that people could be so damn nosy...

But most of all, he guessed that his biggest reason for hesitation was the fact that he was selfish and wanted Grimmjow all to himself. His fans would bitch and whine, but he loved the idea of having Grimmjow's laughs and terrible jokes to himself. By doing this, he was letting his fans get to know the person that he loved and cherished the most…

Grimmjow barked out a loud, unrestrained laugh breaking Ichigo out of his musings.

"Sup, I'm Ichi's husban-

Ichigo bonked him on the head.

"Husband? Did I say husband? I meant to say boyfriend, of course." Grimmjow chuckled nervously looking at his lover.

They kept bantering some more, exchanging a few teasing remarks here and there but not once did one of the two regard the camera that was filming them.

Ichigo was explaining how to do a proper introduction when he noticed that his buffoon of a boyfriend was being a bit too quiet for his liking. He stopped his ridiculous hand gestures and looked up to find his boyfriend gazing at him fondly with a soft smile on his face.

He furrowed his brows, flustered and a bit peeved that his boyfriend wasn't listening to him.

"Stop staring at me like that, you freaky gorilla."

To his surprise, Grimmjow didn't even retort back with a snarky comeback and just kept looking at him. It sent weird shivers up his spine.

"Can't and I won't."

"Fucking weir-

Ichigo widened his eyes at the realization that Grimmjow was looking at him the entire time and not at the camera at all. It was like he wasn't aware of the device in front of them capturing their every movement and sound.

 _This idiot's doing this entire thing for me… Not for the fans or the ego boost he'll surely get after I post this video, but for_ ** _me._**

He sighed hopelessly and sent a genuine smile towards the boyfriend he was so lucky to have.

"Let's do this thing already, moron." Ichigo said, pinching his boyfriend's cheek.

He was going about this whole thing wrong. Being with Grimmjow felt right, it was easy and nice, so why should it change just because a couple hundred thousand people were watching them, right?

10:46

"I'm sitting in front of the tv, what is on the screen?"

Grimmjow looks thoughtful for a second before answering.

"Without a doubt, Game of Thrones. How can I forget? We always watch that after se-"

"HAHA, yep. That's correct. Good job, babe."

Grimmjow snickered behind Ichigo's long, thin fingers.

"We're out to eat, what kind of dressing do I put on my salad?"

"Ichi here doesn't really eat salad, we have a more productive way of staying healthy and _fit._ Burns a shit ton of calories too." Grimmjow answered with an infuriating wink.

If Ichigo got a cent every time his eyes rolled to the back of his head within five feet of this guy, he would be driving ferraris and buying the Eiffel Tower. _That's an exaggeration, but still..._

"What's one food I don't like?"

"You hate ginger. Which is kind of ironic because…" Grimmjow trailed off looking at him up and down with a wide grin.

Ichigo stood up from Grimmjow's lap so hard that he almost bumps heads with him, and walks out of the room.

14:02

After he left, Grimmjow eventually followed his boyfriend to the kitchen where Ichigo was happy to demonstrate just how much he didn't appreciate his shitty answers.

"Ow."

"You deserve it. Ass."

19:09

"What would I eat everyday if I could?"

"Me- I mean chocolate! You fuckin' love chocolate," Grimmjow grinned cheekily, hoping that his slip up wasn't caught by Ichigo. The twinkle in the orange haired man's eyes told him otherwise.

Ichigo sighed looking over all of the questions. This was way too easy, even though Grimmjow was simply joking around with some of the questions, he really knew the questions to all of them.

It wasn't till then that Ichigo truly realized how attentive his partner was. When he tells little tiny things like his shoe size or favorite sandwiches and sweets, he doesn't really expect Grimmjow to remember stuff like that. It's, well, honestly a little endearing… and the fact that his boyfriend makes sure to know everything and anything about him makes him love the childish man with an ego the size of Jupiter even more.

A light nip to his ear brought him back to the present and he internally groaned, _he still had to finish the damn video._

He saw a question that was so easy, it was ridiculous.

Ichigo jokingly covered his eyes and said, "What color are they?"

Grimmjow who was thrown off by the question, took a second to think and tightened his arms around his lover. Ichigo's eyes were something he could look at for days, even years.

He hummed as he placed his head on Ichigo's shoulder.

"It's brown, but it's not _just_ brown. It's a slightly lighter shade and if ya look real close, you'll be able to see gold flecks here and there. Oh and if it hits the sun _just_ right then it'll look like it's hazel-

Ichigo who couldn't take much more of the embarrassment covered his boyfriend's mouth with his palm.

"You could've just said light brown, babe."

Grimmjow scoffed loudly, like the answer was even unthinkable.

"Those are for generic ass couples."

"Damn straight."

23:06

"What is something I do that you wish I wouldn't?" Ichigo asked, genuinely interested to hear what his lover would say.

Surprisingly enough, even Grimmjow looked like he had to think about it for a while before giving a solid answer.

"I wish that you…"

Ichigo arched an eyebrow.

"That I…. what?"

"Well, I wish ya wouldn't put yerself out there so much, if 'm bein' honest. I wish that you would think about yerself for once instead of what someone else wants. Kinda like… putting your own happiness above someone else's fer a change. I don't like that you beat yerself up so much over small shit too. Like calm down, babe, you got five points less than what you had before on that test, chill, I _wish_ I could aim for someting like that…"

Ichigo didn't know if he should feel annoyed, relieved, or… appreciated? Fuck, he doesn't even know anymore. He thought that Grimmjow would say some shit like, 'I wish you wouldn't hog the blankets so goddamn much' or something like 'I wish ya wouldn't blackmail me for sex'. (Don't ask)

As he was deep in thought, Grimmjow added something to his response that was completely _unnecessary_.

"Also, I wish ya wouldn't hang out with Pineapple so much. Like seriously, his dick is 1/8 of mine so he really couldn't satisfy you even if ya wanted him too. And he _reeeks_ of being a bottom-

A flick of da wrist (haha, get it?) got Grimmjow to shut his mouth.

24:56

"Damn… these questions are boring as fuck."

Ichigo looked through the list sent to him from Shinji on his phone.

Grimmjow peered over his shoulder and added a grunt of agreement.

"Who gives a shit about the kind of cake I'd bake you?"

Ichigo laughed.

"You would probably get one that's store bought, but then say you baked it."

Grimmjow actually had the gall to look like he was wronged.

"I'm not that scummy. I'd probably cover it up with frosting first to make it look more homemade."

He rolled his eyes, scrolling through the ridiculous questions once again.

"This ones alright, I guess… What could I spend hours doing?"

Grimmjow grinned nice and slow.

"Eating this d-

"HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAH WHAT WAS THAT GRIMMJOW? SORRY I DIDN'T HEAR YOU, BUT HEY REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME WHEN YOU SHIT YOURSELF ON THIS ONE SIX FLAGS RIDE FOR TODDLERS-

30:29

"This has got to be the most dysfunctional boyfriend tag in history."

"This was stupid."

"You're stupid."

They were sprawled out messily on the floor with Ichigo laying lazily on Grimmjow's back.

Ichigo grumbled as he rubbed his face, he didn't even want to think about the hours of editing time he'd have to spend on this video.

"Ugh, that was exhausting. It felt like an interrogation."

Ichigo laughed.

"If you think about it, it's pretty much is an interrogation. If they don't like your ass, be ready to be roasted in the comments and spammed with shitty memes."

Grimmjow groaned.

"You better give me head after this."

"I would punch you if I wasn't so tired," Ichigo said while tugging on his boyfriend's tousled hair.

"You wouldn't."

"..."

"Wow… okay."

Ichigo let out an unrestrained laugh and lightly punched his lover in the shoulder.

"I was kidding."

"Sure, okay. And hey you forgot one last question."

"Yeah, what's that?"

"Ya love me?"

Ichigo let out a tired grin.

"'Course I do, dumbass."

He tugged Grimmjow's hair back so he could give him a soft kiss from behind.

Grimmjow smiled.

"Will you dab for me?"

"Fuck no."

END

00:00 - 33:06

Title : SHITTIEST TAG EVER w/ MY UGLY BOYFRIEND

Posted 4 hours ago

Description : if u here to try and find that idiot's social media, i will cut u :)

Views : 512,698

Likes : 42k Dislikes : 3k

Subscribers : 5,267,909

COMMENTS :

Renji Abarai _talk shit get hit grimmy boy_

Renji Abarai _AND WHAT THE FUCK JUST BECAUSE IM WITH BYAKUYA DON'T MEAN I HAVE NO TOP GAME_

Shinji Hirako _did ya'll use my condoms?_

Nnoitra Gilga _so like… when are ya'll gonna come out with that sex tape tho?_

Rukia Chappy Kuchiki _I HAVE EXCLUSIVE PICS ON MY TUMBLR_

 _See more_

* * *

This shit made me cringe and I wrote it lmao. I was gonna take this to my grave, but oh well. I hope you like it to some extent even though it's pretty poop compared to some of my other shit. Check me out on ao3 btw, I usually update there faster just because it's easier to use.

Thank you for reading!

I appreciate all of your comments.


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